Every morning, you look in the mirror and you get ready for another day. College is the time, you think. You’ve got to establish your image. This is the place you’ll get all the education and connections that will start you on your path to success. Maybe you’ll even come across that “special someone” as you go. In a sense, this is true. But there are some things that we easily forget about “true beauty.”
- Physical beauty should reflect inner beauty
- Inner beauty is a lot harder
- It takes time to maintain both
- A spouse is not the end-goal
1. Defining True Beauty
It’s what’s on the inside that counts. Everyone says it, very few of them believe it. How many of us say it and refuse to act on it? There is a verse in Peter’s letter to the churches which says:
Your beauty must not be merely external, braiding the hair or wearing gold jewelry or putting on dresses. But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God
1 Peter 3:3-4
Here’s the truth: when you go into a classroom or into a job interview, clothes are secondary. Sure, they make an impression, but unless you’re trying for a job in the fashion or modeling industry, you’re not getting hired for that. (Also, if you do get an offer for your looks, don’t take the job, because that’s poor management.) The thing that everyone is looking for but is really so hard to find is a “gentle and quiet spirit.”
I don’t think that means you need to be silent, though. You can’t act mousy and weak if you want to live well. If you’re outgoing, be outgoing. If you’re excited, show it. What this means is that you have to be humble. You have to respect people. You have to be noble.
That last one is an old word, but it’s important, and it’s not just part of a bookstore or a title for a rich person from a fairy tale. It connotes someone who is “characterized by…superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals.” It isn’t about your political opinions. To be noble is to be confident that what you believe is right. Confident in who you are.
Interestingly, if you’re a science geek you might also know that the word “noble” describes chemicals that don’t react with others. In a way, that’s what you’re supposed to be. Not always reacting to other people because you want to be what they expect, but acting out of your convictions and showing kindness and respect to all people.
2. Crafting True Beauty
It isn’t easy to be that noble, kind person. In fact, it’s a lifelong process. However, I do have a few pointers that can help you get started.
- Study the Bible
The Bible is full of good lessons. Read Proverbs, for example, and you’ll find all you need to know on how to be wise, well-respected, and even-tempered. Or study the people in the Bible to see how they acted and why they were respected. Moses is one of the most famous characters in the world, but he was also “the most humble man on earth” (Numbers 12:3). Examine why God would say that about him and how you could follow in his footsteps.
2. Practice good things
Everyone has habits. I’m not talking about things like biting your nails or smoking cigarettes, I’m talking about personality habits. There are a lot of ways to develop them. You should start by filling your mind with things like good books and movies. Allow yourself to learn more than what they teach you in school, because schools rarely teach you how to act.
Also, find good friends. If you spend all your time with unkind, self-centered people, you’ll start to act like them. That, my friends, is exactly what you don’t want to do. You don’t want to shape yourself by someone else’s standards. You need to have your own.
3. Pray hard
We all like to be our own boss, but we really can’t when it comes to becoming a better person. Deep inside, we know that we are always going to be that same naughty child who only thinks about what they want for themselves. To truly change, we need supernatural help. That’s where God comes in. Every day you have to give him the wrong feelings and attitudes and ask him to give you new ones. He will. But sometimes you have to choose to act on them before you feel a desire to. That’s part of changing your life. You have the power to act; He has the power to transform.
3. Implementing True Beauty
So many of us at this age think we need someone to fulfill us. We spend our days trying desperately to find that “special someone” who will complete us and become our “soul mate.” I don’t think getting married is wrong–far from it. I’m happily married and have no regrets. However, before I got here, I had to realize something that so many of us never do: a spouse is not the answer.
Know Who You Are
When we are growing up, we try to define ourselves by the rules. We’ll act one way around our parents, one way around our teachers, another way around our friends, and another way around our crush. It’s not that we change who we are, but who we are is always wrapped around who someone else is. That’s not right. To be truly ready for a relationship, you have to realize that you aren’t the relationship, but an individual.
Of course, I am not perfect at it. I still hide things I probably shouldn’t and do things I don’t necessarily like for others. But I’ve realized that I shouldn’t do it just to “fit in.” I shouldn’t do it to make myself appear in line with what they want. I should do it only because I love other people enough that I give up my desires for them. I shouldn’t do it because I love myself so much that I give up parts of me in order to look good on the outside. It changes everything when you realize that who you are is not defined by who people want you to be.
Discover How To Love
We have to decide that we are content as we are, without someone else. If we try to find a savior in another person, we’ll end up worse off than when we started. Let Jesus save you and make you the person He created you to be, and be content with that. If he brings someone else along, that’s great, but if He doesn’t, that’s also okay. After all, you are already saved and loved by God. You don’t have to worry if someone else is “in love with” you. You know your true beauty is already there, regardless of what a “crush” may think of you.
If the right person does come along, you’ll get the chance to love them deeply, but it won’t be because they are solving your problems. It will be because your problems are answered in Jesus and theirs are too. You can come together because you have a mutual understanding that God is changing you both and you both need to help each other, but not alone. God is first. He is going to make both of you truly beautiful and He is allowing you to support each other through the process. THAT is what true love looks like.
So, when you go to get ready in the morning, try to remember that. You can look as good as you want, but what really matters is the deep part. In your soul, you are unique. Don’t shape that to fit expectations. Be noble. Believe what you believe. Trust what God says about Himself and who He has made you to be. Speak the truth. Don’t live defined by fear of failure, live defined by faith in God.
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ
Philippians 1:6