“So when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”
John 11:6
Oh, how the days drag on, hour after hour of fear, boredom, confusion, longing. I wish the world would end, most days. It seems sometimes that things could get no worse. The fact that they actually can and probably will makes it all the more terrifying. It feels as if God has seen us ill and has decided to linger, to leave us for a little while longer on our own, struggling to breathe. Will we die before he decides to come?
Lazarus did. I wonder how he felt, waiting for Jesus, the one he knew loved him, the one he knew could heal him. If I were him, I would have believed that he was going to heal me just as he had so many others. After all, Jesus considered Lazarus and his sisters his friends (verse 11). He would certainly not leave his friends when he had cared for so many who were not. But he did. I wonder if Lazarus gave up hope before he died, or if he believed until the last second. His sisters, I think, did believe until the end. When Jesus finally arrived, they both met him separately and said the exact same words: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (verses 21, 32). They knew who Jesus was. They didn’t understand why he delayed. Their words thinly veil an accusatory question, a desperate cry from broken hearts.
I, too, have questioned God. I have thrown accusations. Why would he leave us like this? How dare he let such awful things happen? Where is the salvation he promised? When is the End?
Jesus gave two different answers to Martha and Mary. Martha came to him first, perhaps weeping, perhaps not. She spoke very plainly:
“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.”
John 11:21-22
Jesus responded with the promise that her brother would rise again. She hesitated then, perhaps remembering how strongly she had believed that Jesus would come and heal as she had begged him to do and how she had been disappointed.
“I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”
Verses 24-26
Martha was, I think, much like us. She knew what she believed, but when her expectations were not met, she doubted, she questioned, she struggled to accept. Things had not happened when she thought they should. Everything wasn’t fitting into the boxes, the plan she had laid out so carefully for her life. Her brother’s death wasn’t in the plan. That’s why she had begged Jesus to come and heal him. She couldn’t allow a death to ruin everything. So she sent Jesus a note, “Lord, he whom you love is ill” (verse 3). She called him Lord, believing that he would use his power to rule well, the way she thought he ought to. She reminded him that he loved her brother, as if somehow he had forgotten. But he didn’t come, and all she had hoped for was dashed. Until.
I wonder what she felt when she heard that he was coming, four days too late? How it must have hurt her to think that he had been too busy to help. She had not heard what he had said to his disciples, that “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (verse 4). She knew only that she had been disappointed. And yet, when Jesus asked if she believed, she did not hesitate. “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world” (verse 27). She did not succumb to despair, because although her plans had been thwarted and her hopes dashed to pieces, she knew Jesus; who he was and who he had always been.
She didn’t stay to discuss. I suppose that she saw her belief was enough. She didn’t have to understand, she had to trust him. He had promised her something unimaginable, and she had to believe that it was possible or her grief would destroy her. So, she left and got her sister, Mary. Mary came to Jesus weeping, and following her were the many mourners in the community who were hoping to comfort her, also weeping. She spoke the same words to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” She did not continue, though, as Martha had., nor did she try to ask questions. She was broken, and she wept. And then follows one of the most haunting passages in all of Scripture.
“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept.”
Verses 33-35
Though Jesus knew what he was going to do and knew that this would result in his glory, yet he was troubled. The word used in the original Greek for “deeply moved” means to groan, to be very strongly affected. And the word for “troubled” means great agitation and is often used of fear. Jesus was not afraid, but he felt for the people he loved. It is hard to imagine all he must have felt. Lazarus would return, yes, but only for a time, and when he did, many would hate him because he brought people to Jesus (12: 9-10). One day, each of the people in that space would die. They would suffer loss again and again and again, starting with Jesus himself.
The beautiful thing about the Gospel is that Jesus became a man so he could understand this kind of suffering. I certainly don’t think that he didn’t understand it before he came, but it is striking that he chose to experience the pain we feel without the eternal attributes that he had in heaven. Perhaps, in that moment, standing before Lazarus’ tomb, he could see that without having his knowledge of eternity people were breaking. They could not see, as he could, what the outcome of each day would be. They could only suffer through it. That is why Jesus came, so he would know what it was like to feel powerless, to suffer without God’s presence. The moment on the cross when God forsook him, he understood it fully. But with Mary and Martha and the people they loved, I think he was seeing a glimpse. Perhaps it broke his heart that they didn’t know what he knew, and that so many of them would never believe as Martha did. Perhaps it broke his heart that Lazarus would return only to suffer so much more. Perhaps it broke his heart that death comes for all of us…that it would come even for him. The Scripture does not say precisely why he wept, but of this we can be sure: he was not cold-hearted. He was not cavalier, knowing that good would eventually come. Even though he knew the future, he still felt the pain of the present. As we do.
Jesus did bring Lazarus back to life, as he had promised. And when Lazarus died again, he returned to Jesus until the last days. But Lazarus suffered on this earth, and Jesus did too. Today, when we are struggling so fiercely on so many fronts, often wishing it would all be over, we have to remember this. Jesus promises eternal life, but, more than that, he promises glory. And he promises empathy. He, too, was on this earth waiting for death. He, too, lost people he loved. He, too, wept for what would not change.
That is Jesus’ power. There are many other religions and gods in this world, but those who know Jesus know that He stands above them because of this. He demands worship as someone who faced our struggles and overcame them. And now he promises that same victory for us. Do not despair. Jesus wept. Jesus died. But Jesus also arose. We will be waiting, perhaps many years or lifetimes yet, for the end. But through that time, we know that it is for greater glory. Yes, Jesus waited too long to save Lazarus the first time, and that caused more pain, but it also caused more glory. Glory to God that resurrection is now a promise for anyone willing to take it. He did not remove all pain, but he changed it. Because of him, pain brings glory, glory that we will share in when we, too, are resurrected. And that is worth waiting for.
“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1b-2